One step closer... Her birth certificate (and complete panic sets in)

We received Mirabelle's birth certificate today!

This is big news because we should find out our travel date soon - maybe in the next two days.

This is incredibly freaky, panic-inducing news because we should find out our travel date soon - maybe in the next two days.

Another adoptive family received their daughter's birth certificate today, too, as well as a tentative travel date of January 15. That's in less than 3 weeks. WE MIGHT BE IN THAT GROUP.Here's where I do not even attempt to describe how NOT ready we are, except to make general reference the following areas:

Legal documents/Prescriptions for exotic but not-fun diseases like malaria/ Every tummy ailment medicine on Walgreens' shelves/Airline tickets/Pack for the three of us/Supplies for diaper blowouts on the 22-hour plane ride/Video camera battery/Childcare arrangements for those left on the home front

There are numerous other "to do's" flying around my head in a jumble right now, too, but I won't go into them. Suffice it to say (again), NOT feeling ready!

It's exciting, but YIKES!

In case I wasn’t already questioning whether we remember anything about babies ...

We decided to register for some baby items since we have NOTHING for a baby anymore. (Despite our lack of even a single burp cloth, I felt a little weird about registering, since Mirabelle isn’t our first baby. I got over it, though).

We went to Babies R Us, where we stood before shelves full of wonderful baby things and quickly realized that we can’t remember what a six-month-old needs. I swear, we analyzed each product in the store for 20 minutes! In my opinion, it’s definitely easier to register for an infant – you zip around the store, scanner in hand, I want this, and this, and this… With an infant, eventually you’ll need everything. Not so with a six-month-old. You actually have to think about what you need. Way too taxing for our brains.

We were able to bypass the Mylicon gas relief drops and baby bottle warmers, as well as everything in the nursing aisle. No Boppies for Mirabelle! A Boppy is a support pillow designed to help with breastfeeding (for anyone who may have been picturing this:)
We agonized over other items like crib bumper pads, bottle sizes, co-sleeping bassinets and baby bath tubs. Eventually I stood in the store on my cell phone with my friend Kelli, who still has kids under 2. How old are they when you take the bumper pads out of the crib? What’s a Bumbo? How long do they use the baby bath tub? Thankfully, Kelli has managed to hang on to her good memory and magnificent organizational skills, despite her four kids. She talked me through the store, but it was funny because I felt like a complete novice!

Big news! She is ours!

We received word that we passed through court in Ethiopia! We have a daughter!
We are excited and relieved! We were both SO nervous all morning, glued to our phones and knowing the call could come at any time (it turned out to be an e-mail). Last night I dreamed that we didn't make it through court and was devastated because it would push our travel date out by weeks. But we made it! (phew)

Now we can move forward and prepare to travel. It still looks like late January-ish. Here is the formal process:

The written court order and a written letter from the Ministry of Women's Affairs needs to be obtained by Children's Home Society in order for our baby's birth certificate to be issued and sent via e-mail attachment. This process has been taking about 2-4 weeks. Once Children's Home Society receives and reviews the birth certificate to confirm that everything is correct, they will forward a copy to us and we will receive a travel date for about 3 weeks from that time. Then we can confirm our tickets to travel.

Now, without further ado, here are pictures of the child causing all of this excitement.

MEET MIRABELLE

The first picture is her referral photo, taken when she was three months old. The other three were taken in early December, when she was five month old.

Chunky Monkey (well, not exactly)

We got an updated copy of Baby's physical growth chart. At 5 months, she weighs 14.26 pounds - almost as much as Ethan when he was born! (just kidding). She is 22.8 inches tall.

We are excited to see her weight gain (she was 9 pounds at 3 months). Of course, we wish there was more information in the report - like pictures!

Two weeks to court

Two weeks until our court date! Here's a step-by-step description of the process in Ethiopia, starting with the court date:

1. At the hearing, the judge reviews the case and either advises his/her decision or requests additional information.

2. A decision is made or new court date is scheduled.

3. When the decision is granted, the written court order is drafted and is usually issued within a week.

4. Once the court order is issued, a letter of support is requested and received from the Ministry of Women's Affairs (MOWA) office.

5. Once the MOWA letter is received, the birth certificate is issued.

6. When the birth certificate is issued, Children's Home Society will receive a scanned copy of it and will verify that the information is correct. At that point, Children's Home Society will advise us of a travel date. We will get approximately 3-4 weeks advance notice before traveling.

7. Children's Home Society advises Ethiopia staff that the birth certificate information is correct and they will proceed to obtain the child’s Ethiopian passport, Embassy medical exam and will prepare the final paperwork to submit to the Embassy.

8. We travel to Ethiopia.

From our side, this process mostly translates into "waiting to hear news." While we wait, we are working on getting bedrooms set up, plus the usual December activities.

Discombobulated

Gracie asked me, "What's your favorite word?" Without pausing for my answer, she said, "Mine's discombobulated."

Discombobulated: Thrown into a state of confusion.

Of course my children are intimately familiar with that word. My last name should be discombobulated.

My kids probably think my favorite word is "stopbickering," but the word that popped into my head when Gracie asked me her question was "Mom." Despite periodic urges to knock my kids' heads together ala the Three Stooges, the best part of my life, truly, is Being Mom. (And that, folks, is why we're adopting).

Although I have to say, I've always really liked "cumulonimbus" as a word, too.

O Happy Day

For the first time in 8 years, we are proud to be American again!

For those who may not understand, that's not to say that we would feel ashamed of our country under any Republican president - or proud under any Democrat. We are proud that America elected a person of color to the highest office. But more than that, we are proud that the country voted to bring back an America of the people - all people - and voters said NO MORE to politics of fear, hate and abuse of power.

Portrait in Pumpkin

2008 was a good Halloween - warm weather, lots of pumpkins and best of all, very social (let's just say the grown-ups had their own treats).

Below are photos of the Jackson Jack-o-Lantern Gang '08 (click on the pictures to see them bigger). "Evil Tree Creature" and "Goblin Breaking Out," both by Randy, were the most popular with trick-or-treaters, and in my opinion, represent some of his best work in the "squash arts" arena. "Pumpkin Eating Leg" by Ethan was my personal favorite and added extra excitement to Halloween when the leg and then the pumpkin caught on fire. Our front yard was filled with a smoky haze and the smell of burnt fabric and pumpkin flesh for a while (very Halloween-y)! The alien pumpkin was not actually a pumpkin, although it was growing in the patch along side the normal pumpkins. My neighbor Colleen identified it as a blue hubbard squash. It had a nice, ghastly greenish-gray warty skin, perfect for Halloween, but it was hard to carve! I had to use a butcher knife.
Melissa and Erik also carved some very impressive pumpkins with us this year, which they put on their porch steps. Unfortunately by Halloween night, "Fangs" and "Owl" could've been renamed "Face Completely Eaten by Squirrel" and "Most of Face Eaten by Squirrel." (Evil, jack-o-lantern face-eating squirrels that come out once a year on Halloween).

Court date!

Today we were assigned a court date of December 16th. The court date is the next step in the process, where our case is heard by a judge. (We are not actually in Ethiopia for this step). Hopefully we'll sail through, although some cases don't get decided the first time for various reasons -- sometimes the judge may not hear all of the cases scheduled that day; sometimes the judge requests additional information; and sometimes a needed piece of documentation is not issued in time and the case needs to be rescheduled. I would love to say that I'm going to be the epitome of patience and understanding if we don't make it through court, but the truth is I will completely FLIP OUT. Let's just hope it doesn't come to that.

Back to positive, happy thinking... Once we get through court we will be issued a birth certificate for Baby and then, finally, get a travel date. I am still hopeful that we will travel in January if we make it through court on the 16th. Our peanut will be 7 months by then!

Soccer, Injera and Pumpkins

If you misread the title as "Soccer Injuries and Pumpkins," well, that's understandable, given my ungraceful ways and tendency to hurt myself. Actually, injera is Ethiopian bread. (More on that in a bit...)

We are still waiting to hear about a court date in Ethiopia for Baby. Meanwhile, we are gathering a few items to send to the care center in Addis Ababa, including a baby blanket and pictures of our faces, which will be taped up in her crib.

We had an enjoyable family weekend that included the annual trek to the pumpkin patch, where we found some good-looking specimens for our upcoming favorite celebration. After we chose our pumpkins the kids and I gave the corn maze a try. It was difficult enough that after 15 minutes Gracie and I had to cheat and crash through the rows to find our way out, and Abby and Ethan backtracked and came out the entrance. Thankfully no one had to go to the bathroom while we were lost among the cobs.

That night we took the kids to Fasika, arguably the best Ethiopian restaurant in the area. They had sampled Ethiopian food just once before, and not much of it. At Fasika we ordered two kinds of wot (stew), which we ate in traditional Ethiopian manner: without utensils. Instead of forks or spoons, you use injera, a soft, spongy pancake-like bread. Injera is made in large circles and the stews are spooned on top in small mounds. To eat, pieces of the injera are torn off and used to scoop up the food. Injera has a slightly tangy flavor and a light and airy texture. It is made from a grain called teff, a staple in Ethiopia. Ethan and Abby liked their food quite a bit. (And for The Boy, eating without utensils is always a bonus). Gracie was a good sport and gave it a try, but she wasn't a big fan.

Other weekend highlights included a double-header for Randy and me in our coed adult soccer league. This is the league where we compete against teams made up of college-age athletes who routinely make mincemeat of us old folks. For this reason our 2-2 tie felt like a World Cup victory. Go Muscle Strains! (And yes, that is actually our team name).

Fred showed us his true hound dog colors when he caught a bunny in the backyard. Just when you start to feel like your beloved canine family member is one step away from being able to actually have a conversation with you, you look out the window and see him having his fill of a raw bunny. Yuck.

A Few More Details About the Referral

Here are a few more details about our adoption (a very few details, because we don't know much right now):

• What happens now that we've accepted the referral?
  Our dossier has been sent to Ethiopia where it is prepared and submitted to court for processing. You might hear us refer to this step as "getting through court."
• When will we travel?
  At this time our guess (and it is a guess) is January 2009.
• What did the kids say when we told them?
  Abby was thrilled that our referral was for a 3-month-old baby girl. She was hoping for a young one!
  Ethan was initially a little defeated at the idea of another little sister. I said, "Remember, it will be years before she's a real girl (read: a seven-year-old dictator who constantly bickers with him and tattles on him. Someone, shall we say, with blond hair?) He is great with babies and loves little kids. When he imagined having a baby sister again he was enthusiastic.
  Gracie expressed excitement about her new sister and promptly asked for a snack. She's happy now, but I don't think she's going to relinquish her spot as the baby in the family very happily when the time comes.

The Party's Over! (the Pity Party, that is)

On Friday, October 3, after over 11 months of waiting, we received a referral for our baby!

She is 3 months old and, in our humble opinion, beautiful! We are so excited to share her photo, but we need to wait until a few more steps in the adoption process are completed. Until then I'll just say big brown eyes and a darling, expressive little face.

The call
I was at work when the call came from our social worker, just before 4pm. I didn't recognize the phone number but assumed it was Ethan making his usual "can you pick me up so I don't have to take the activity bus" call from a friend's cell phone. It didn't even cross my mind that it might be Children's Home Society. It was late on a Friday afternoon, so I had given up hope of a referral for the week and emptied my head of all adoption-related thoughts (and most other types of thoughts, too). When I realized it was The Call, my hands started shaking and I could hardly speak a sentence. After our social worker read through the report, she asked me if I had any questions. I just said, "No, no... I can't even think straight. I'm just stupid right now." (Stupid in a good way).

While I was on the phone with our social worker I one-finger typed an e-mail to Randy ("i'm on phon w angie we have referral!") Strangely, he didn't respond to this articulate message. I suspected that he may have just keeled over on the spot, or possibly he was on all fours hyperventilating. I dialed him with my shaky fingers as soon as I hung up with our social worker. He sounded normal when he answered and began to tell me about e-mail server problems. I interrupted. "I just e-mailed you that we got a referral!" That's when he started hyperventilating (well, mentally at least).

We both left work early and met at home to look over our baby's referral paperwork, and see a picture of her for the first time. Seeing her face was both exciting and surreal. (It still is).

The rest of that evening was filled with merriment and joy, as Randy and I danced to the music in our hearts.


And if our joy that evening had a bit of a "deer-in-the headlights" feel to it? That's to be expected, right?

Welcome to my Pity Party

Incredibly, STILL no word on referrals. Now normally, I am the picture of laid-backed-ness (or sleepiness, which looks like laid-backed-ness - and yes, of course it's an actual word). Today, however, I am feeling like this:
(complete with my oft-used rolling pin)

I remember at the beginning of September, Abby overheard me saying to a friend, "Well, I had hoped to be home with our baby before my birthday, but I guess I'll have to settle for a referral before I turn 40." She asked, "What if we don't get a referral by then?" At the time that notion seemed preposterous! I said, "If we're still waiting for a referral by October I'll chew my own head off!"

Start chewing.

Reflections on turning 40

"If you're 40, I must be really old." (A shocking realization from Dad)

"Turning 40 wasn't bad, but then it just keeps going up: 41, 42..." (A reflection from Maryanna. This makes sense to me. Now that I've reached 40 shouldn't I be done getting older?)

"You're turning half-eighty." (Fightin' words from Matt, my nemesis)

"Forty is the new 30." I'll take that. I'll even take, "Forty is the new 39."

The Perfect Apple (and Michael Jackson)

It's time for a new (lighter) topic. Although first I will say in reference to the many back-and-forth comments generated by my last post that I think the majority of the readers of this blog are, like me, disgusted with our current administration and its failed economic policies, abused executive privilege and unending war. For that reason, pro-McCain/Palin arguments are probably not likely to find a happy home here. That said, anyone is free to make comments - this is a blog.

On to a Day in the Life...

The other day I was showed Ethan the video of "Thriller" on YouTube - like me, he's such a Halloween buff, and he'd never seen it. Then I ended up showing him "Billie Jean," because I was trying to explain moonwalking. I was a little embarrassed to admit that I was a huge MJ fan during his heyday (what 14-year old wasn't trying to master the moonwalk then?) But I have to say, watching "Billie Jean" again 20-some years later... as disturbingly weird as Michael Jackson ended up being, he was a DARN GOOD PERFORMER. There. I said it. Let my harassing begin. (Check out the video).

Abby, Corrine and I enjoyed a beautiful fall day at the apple orchard. The girls spent a lot of time searching for the Perfect Apple (applis perfectis) and finally agreed they had found it... her. (They named the apple Priscilla). Of course, later Priscilla was eaten. Such is the life of an apple.

Oh, so disturbing

Have you seen Sarah Palin saying that she has foreign policy experience because Alaska borders Canada and is close to Russia? (click here) I'm pretty sure even I know more about the world! If you are a McCain supporter you are obligated to watch it.

I (HEART) CLASS PICTURE DAY

What would school picture day be without clothes/hair/shoe tantrums, really? Gracie spent the morning trying on and rejecting clothes. She finally came to peace with a dress from last fall, and I wasn't about to argue. However, five minutes after she got on the bus I was looking in the 2007/2008 yearbook to see if I had indeed agreed to let her wear the exact same thing she'd worn for class pictures last year. (Not so. I was remembering a photo of her in that dress from the first day of school last year).

A separate stomping session ensued about the shoes, but hair went pretty smoothly, unlike last year when we had a disagreement about her wearing her bangs in a ponytail on her forehead (a signature Gracie Look that some of my friends have referred to as "the unicorn" or "the water spout"). Today she just wanted me to flat iron her hair because it wasn't "down" enough, but then she got distracted by her DUMB, STUPID, I-HATE-THESE DUMB shoes and forgot about it.

Sore arms: A visit to the travel clinic

Today Randy and I got vaccinated for Hep A and B, meningitis, typhoid and tetanus, and had blood draws and TB tests. We were given prescriptions to fill for Cipro and malaria meds. We spent well over an hour reviewing with our travel nurse every exotic and not-so-exotic disease/bite/infection we might pick up in Ethiopia. I thought Randy was going to pass out! (Let's remember, this is is the man who had to lie down at the vet's office when the dog had her blood drawn). He hung in there, though. I think his stomach will be in knots for the next four months, as all those medical conditions make themselves right at home in his imagination. Poor guy.

Next week we get another series of Hep A and B, Yellow Fever, polio and possibly measles/mumps/rubella (I think - it got a little difficult for my feeble brain to keep track). Our arms are sore today, but next week's rounds are the most painful. After that there's one more round of shots. Oh, and let's not forget the good ol' flu shot. Fun fun!

We'll be fully inoculated soon - now we just need the referral.

School Daze

The kids are all back in school.
~Pause for blissful sigh~
Ethan likes middle school so far (no real homework yet). We were excited to hear his impressions of the first day, what he liked and disliked. A recurring theme quickly became clear! He must have told me six times in the first 10 minutes home that he really likes the cafeteria food. The way to the 12-year-old boy's heart is through his tummy!

Yikes! Yellow jackets

Good thing we aren't afraid of bees! Wasps, to be more accurate. We seem to have a nest between our house's siding and bricks. We can't see the hive, but we can see the "traffic" entering and exiting. The hive is right below our bedroom window, and many of its members are getting lost on their way to and from home, instead flying into our room via the window air conditioner. Every time we go into the bedroom there are five or six more wasps trying to figure out how to get back out the window. We are keeping the door closed so they don't end up anywhere else in the house (especially the girls' bedroom - I don't think Abby would ever sleep again!)

Hopefully we can caulk the crack and block the entrance to the hive. It's always something, isn't it?

Dolly

Well, we were all geared up for a phone call yesterday or today, but now we are hearing (through the forum grapevine) that we may be waiting another month for a referral! (big *sigh*)

Let's focus on something happy: my dear friend Julie gave us our baby's first toy when we were down in Madison over the weekend. We are referring to her/him simply as "dolly" for now. Dolly is from Africa and I love her (or him)!

Let's get some learnin' on while we wait!

OK, this referral is taking a little longer than we thought.

While we're waiting... Here are some frequently asked questions about adopting from Ethiopia, followed by some adoption "do's and don'ts."

Frequently asked questions

Why Ethiopia?

Simply put – Ethiopia is where our child is! Every country has a unique way of approaching adoption-different timelines, costs, travel requirements, etc. On a practical level, the adoption process from Ethiopia is among the most accessible. But, more importantly, Ethiopia is a beautiful country with a rich and proud culture and history. The people value their children immensely, so the children are treated very well in the care centers before adoption. This helps facilitate an easier transition into an adoptive family. And, after doing much research, we found Ethiopia to suit us best.


Why are so many children available for adoption in Ethiopia?

Ethiopian children are placed for adoption for many reasons. As a result of years of civil war, famine and disease, literally millions of children have lost their parents. They end up either in orphanages or living on the streets. Also, some children are placed for adoption because the family can’t afford to care for one more child. Whatever the reason, it is important to know that Ethiopians view adoption as “loaning” their children to us. They believe it takes a village to raise a child and we are part of that village. It is never an easy decision to place a child for adoption – these are not “unwanted” children by any means. These are simply children whose birth families wanted a better life for their children and are “loaning” them to us to help provide that better life.

Adoption is NOT about “rescuing” these children – it’s about parenting them.


Aren’t you concerned about the race issues?

Of course! Race is still a major issue in our country and the first thing anybody adopting transracially (cross-culturally) needs to do is accept that and find ways to raise the child in a supportive environment. We will do our best to learn about race and ethnicity issues and how to deal with problems that may arise. We will also do everything in our power to help our child feel proud and comfortable about being Ethiopian.


What is a referral?

The referral includes ALL information the agency has on our child – there may be pieces of information missing but it is all the information known about our child. There will also be a picture of our child.


Will you share all the referral information with us?

We will definitely share some things, but don’t expect us to share everything. This is very private information and it belongs to our child. This can be difficult for some people to fully understand, but families talk amongst themselves and it could be very embarrassing for a child to hear from a family member that she was a product of rape or that her birth mother was a beggar or a birth father died of AIDS (this type of information is included in the referral). It could be especially devastating if a child learns such information for the first time from a family member. Our child will know her full story when she is older.


Can I hold your baby right away? Can I help feed your baby?

Probably for a short amount of time. Our baby has been in many hands and she needs to know that we are her primary caregivers and parents. By being passed from person to person, our baby will become more confused. Because of this, we will be the only ones feeding our baby until she has established a bond with us (this could take several months if not longer).


Please don't ask/say:

How much does it cost?

• Please don’t ask this unless you’re truly interested in adopting
• It makes us feel like you’re asking the price of something as trivial as a new sweater – the adoption process isn’t trivial and neither is our child

Why not adopt from China (or some other country)?

• We’ve already chosen to adopt from Ethiopia and are thrilled with our decision.
• Asking this question implies you’re not OK with our decision

Why are you adopting when you have your own children?

• Our adopted child IS our own child.
• Adopting is right for our family.

Don’t make comments saying how “lucky” the child is or about us “rescuing” our child.

• We’re adopting because we want to PARENT a child – NOT rescue it
• We are the “lucky” ones -- we get to parent a beautiful child!

Don’t use terms such as “real mother” or “children of your own”

• Use terms that affirm the value of both her birth parents and adoptive parents
• I am her real mother
• She is my own child

If there are known birth family members please don’t ask why they “gave up” our child, and don’t speak disparagingly of the parents with comments such as “I just can’t imagine how anyone could give up a child.”:

• Never use the term “give up” when it comes to adoption – children aren’t “given up.” An adoption plan is made for them
• Our child’s birth parents are an important part of who she is, and we plan to foster love and respect for them.
• Please remember this is not our information to share – it is our child’s personal, private information and our child can share it if/when she chooses.

Please DO say/ask:

Do ask questions about the adoption process, expectations and fears.

Do feel comfortable about expressing your own fears and concerns, but realize that adoption is a very personal decision – maybe not one you would have made for yourself but one we have come to after much research, deliberation and soul-searching.

Do embrace the differences our child brings to our family.

Do speak positively about our child’s culture/heritage.

Do treat us the same way you’d treat people expecting a biological child – with excitement, tenderness and even a bit of pampering!

Waiting, waiting

I contacted our adoption specialist today to ask when they are expecting the next batch of referrals to take place. There haven't been any in 5 or 6 weeks, which is unusual. She said they think it will be another 3 weeks or so before they have more referrals. We are near the top of the waiting list so we should get a referral in the next batch. I'm not positive what the delay is, although I have heard there are a lot of kids in the care center in Addis Ababa waiting to be picked up in July by traveling adoptive parents, because there was a huge bunch of referrals in May and June. Anyway, we won't be jumping when the phone rings until mid-August.

We actually aren't too frustrated with the delay, even though this is taking longer than we expected. The courts are going to be closing soon in Addis Ababa anyway, meaning that even if we got a referral tomorrow we'd still have to wait for the courts to reopen in October to complete the legal process, before we could travel. The waiting game will be harder once we know there is a specific little person waiting for us across the globe!

Waiting

Not counting families waiting for siblings, there are 7 people ahead of us on "the list" on the Ethiopia forum. I am really hoping we get a referral next week, even though it may be a long shot. Tonight we jotted down some girl names that we like. Who knows, maybe we'll keep the baby's original name. So exciting!

Gracie moments

Insights

(while taking Fred for a walk with Randy)
"Do you think Fred is sad because he doesn't have any butt cheeks?"

Words spoken in rage

"Your teeth are NOT SPARKLY!"

G: "Abby called me a bad word!"
Me: "What was it?"
G (furious): "She called me 'young lady'!"

Abby-isms

Older stories about our Miss Abigail

Oct. 2000
Abby started having a tantrum about her diaper when we were in the car. When we finally stopped to change her, Randy found Ethan’s little green plastic Martian in her diaper. There was a perfect, red, painful-looking Martian imprint on her tummy from it. Randy said, "Abby, what's this person doing in your diaper?" She said angrily through her tears, "I put him there so he could hide from you."

May 2001
Jules: “You need to get dressed… No sweetie, take your other underpants off before you put the new ones on.”
Abby: “They’re too tight! They don’t fit.”
Jules: “You’ve got both legs in the same… First you need to take your other underpants off anyway.”
Abby: I can’t put them on, I don’t know which way they go!”
Jules: “The flower goes in the front.”
Abby, dramatically: “I can’t get dressed, I’m too tired. I have an owie on my finger.”
Jules: “We need to get dressed because we’re going outside.”
Abby: “I don’t want to go outside, it’s too shiny.”
Jules: “Go ahead and put your underwear on. I’ll lay them on the floor.”
Abby: “They’re too sideways now. They’re inside out.”
Jules: “No they’re not, that’s the right way.”
Abby: “They’re too wrinkly. They’re crumply.” She flops down.

Dec. 2001
In the car
Ethan: “Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all…”
Abby: “NO! I DON’T WANT TO HEAR THAT!”
Ethan: “…oh what fun it is to ride…”
Abby: “NO! Stop singing!”
(Ethan stops singing)
Abby: “Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way…”
Ethan: Hey, I can sing without moving my mouth at all!”
Abby: “Do it.”
(Ethan is silent for about 20 seconds)
Ethan: “See? I can sing it just in my head!”
Abby: (impressed, eagerly leans toward him) “Do it again!”

May 2002
There was a new kid in Abby's Ball Skills class today, Oscar. When we got home she said, "Mom, there was a new boy in my class named Whiskers!"

Jan. 2003
(The Licker)

J: "Abby, don't lick the window."

J: "Abby, don't lick the van."

J: "Abby, please don't lick the conveyor belt" (at Target).

J: "Abby don't put your tongue on the glass" (at the YMCA).

The other day she was licking the hutch and I said, exasperated, "Sweetie why do you lick everything?"

Abby, simply: "Because everything tastes so delicious!"

Heaven and other religious facts

Observations made by our deep thinkers when they were little

Nov. 2000
Ethan: "Do we go to heaven when we die?"
Jules: “Yes.”
Ethan: “Well, what do we DO there?”
Jules: “I don’t exactly know bud, I’ve never been there.”
Ethan: “Well I just hope we don’t have to just STAND AROUND there. That’ll be boring.”
(I should’ve told him there was a Job Jar for mopey people).

Oct. 2001
Abby: “Do babies go to heaven?”
Jules: “Sometimes.”
Abby: “Well, what do they do there?”
Ethan, authoritatively: “They just LAY there!”
Abby: “Well what does it look like?”
Ethan, with certainty and slight weariness: “Just like the inside of a cloud is all.”

Dec. 2001
Ethan: "How do we GET to heaven?"
Jules: "I don't know for sure, bud. Some people think that an angel comes down and takes us."
Ethan: "Well, what if a person is too heavy for the angel to carry?"
Jules: "When we die only a part of us called our soul goes to heaven. Our body stays here."
Ethan, incredulous: "Our body stays here?"
Jules: "Yes."
Ethan: "Our body stays here?"
Jules: "Yes, our body stays here."
Ethan: "But they take our HEAD though?"

Dec. 2001
Abby: “Christmas isn’t just about the presents, y’know. It’s about SANTA coming, too.”

Stories about Ethan and/or nudity

Funny stories about The Boy when he was a little younger
December 2001
Jules: “Ethan! Go in the house and put some pants on!”
Ethan: (exasperated) “Mom I DO have pants on.” (Looks down). “Oh! I guess I don’t!”

Apr. 2001
Ethan has been practicing flying:
“Mom! Do you want to come downstairs and see what I've been working on? It’s FLUTTERING. I jump off the edge of the chair, and I flap my arms really fast. Then I’m fluttering in the air for like five or six seconds! I’m getting really good.”
He runs down the hall and bursts into the bathroom:
“Hey Abby I have a new way of flying! You don’t have to try it but I want you to come see me!”
Abby, exasperated: “Ethan I am pooping!”
E: “But I’m FLUTTERING!”

March 2002
Ethan, very solemnly: “I heard some kids saying a very bad thing on the bus.” Immediately our minds jump to bullying, racial slurs, sexual harassment…
Ethan: “I did NOT join in.”
We gently ask: “What was it the kids were saying?”
Ethan, reluctantly: “Well, they were saying, ‘Kids rule parents drool!’”

June 2003
Randy, Ethan and Abby are playing with the hose. Randy sprays Ethan. Ethan laughs, “Hey, you got me in the wiener!”
“What’s a wiener?” Abby wants to know.
Ethan explains: “It’s a penis.” Then adds, “We have wieners for lunch at school sometimes.”