Stories about Ethan and/or nudity

Funny stories about The Boy when he was a little younger
December 2001
Jules: “Ethan! Go in the house and put some pants on!”
Ethan: (exasperated) “Mom I DO have pants on.” (Looks down). “Oh! I guess I don’t!”

Apr. 2001
Ethan has been practicing flying:
“Mom! Do you want to come downstairs and see what I've been working on? It’s FLUTTERING. I jump off the edge of the chair, and I flap my arms really fast. Then I’m fluttering in the air for like five or six seconds! I’m getting really good.”
He runs down the hall and bursts into the bathroom:
“Hey Abby I have a new way of flying! You don’t have to try it but I want you to come see me!”
Abby, exasperated: “Ethan I am pooping!”
E: “But I’m FLUTTERING!”

March 2002
Ethan, very solemnly: “I heard some kids saying a very bad thing on the bus.” Immediately our minds jump to bullying, racial slurs, sexual harassment…
Ethan: “I did NOT join in.”
We gently ask: “What was it the kids were saying?”
Ethan, reluctantly: “Well, they were saying, ‘Kids rule parents drool!’”

June 2003
Randy, Ethan and Abby are playing with the hose. Randy sprays Ethan. Ethan laughs, “Hey, you got me in the wiener!”
“What’s a wiener?” Abby wants to know.
Ethan explains: “It’s a penis.” Then adds, “We have wieners for lunch at school sometimes.”