Burning Questions

Why have I gained baby weight when I didn't give birth to the baby?
Really, there's no mystery here. It's that willpower challenge I face (and fail) every afternoon. It involves the following dangerous combination: a napping baby + a fresh pot of coffee + Girl Scout cookies (particularly, although not limited to, the shortbread variety).

Never has my willpower failed me so miserably! My rationalization for eating more cookies has included:

• "There's only two left in this package. I better eat them so the kids don't fight over them."
• "There are only four left. It's such a pain to get just a few back inside the box. I should probably just eat them."
• "I've still got half a cup of coffee. I better balance it out with another cookie." (Balance it out? Seriously? Of course, I am happy to buy this argument when I'm eating the cookies).
• "Well, I've already lost control for today. I may as well eat a couple more."

So, like most new mothers, I now have extra pounds to shed.

Just how dumb is the dog?
Fred quickly realized that there were lots of tasty tidbits on the floor and highchair once Mira started eating table food. He positions himself at its base and is poised to spring to action if a single Cheerio gets dropped. However, I have discovered him in this hyper-vigilant, vulture-like state even when Mira's not in the highchair - in fact, usually no one is in the room. I have to conclude that he thinks the highchair is some sort of feeding machine that operates independently from anyone sitting in it.

Would it be really tacky to install a chainlink fence in the living room?
A certain two-foot-tall someone has discovered the fireplace and the DVD player. This individual has also discovered that if she gets close to either off-limit object, one of us will jump to our feet and intercept her. What fun! As soon as she is set down, she makes a beeline to the fireplace or the DVD player. I'm getting tired and have started fantasizing about barriers.

Is it, truly, a hard-knock life?
I went downstairs to switch the laundry (what else?) and was greeted by the following Tinker Toy message, courtesy of Gracie:

The "injustice," incidentally, involved me saying no to excessive after-school snacking.

Abby's comment about the message: "Well, at least she remembered the apostrophe!"