Ah, Spencer's. Both of us have memories of browsing in Spencer's as teens. Lava lamps, battery operated chattering teeth, whoopie cushions, psychedelic lights... Nothing too crazy.
Well, Spencer's has changed a bit in 20 years. Randy said they entered the store and the girls went down one aisle and he and Ethan took the Mira in the stroller down another. [According to Randy, the rest of the story takes place in slow motion]. Randy found himself staring at an endless array of "inflatable willies," fake breasts and similar novelty gifts ("Jingle Jugs," anyone?) as Ethan's eyes got huge. ("Guess what my dad took me to see?")
As the realization that Spencer's might be inappropriate for young children began to dawn on him, Randy decided to round up Abby and Gracie. He pushed the stroller past a display of furry black handcuffs and belts that said "Sexy Bitch" in sequins, which Mira grabbed a fistful of as they sped by. They rounded the corner in time to see Gracie holding a mechanical fist. "We should get this neat hand for Mom," she suggested. She pushed a button and the middle finger shot up as the hand squawked a very naughty word. Gracie, clueless about both the action and the expletive, thought the hand was a must-have purchase. Ethan stifled laughter. Abby was just frozen in shock. Randy grabbed the hand away from Gracie and the Sexy Bitch belts away from Mira. "Let's go!"
Outside the store, Ethan and Abby faced Randy in gleeful disbelief. "Dad, I cannot believe you took us in that store!" (Gracie wanted to go back inside to see more of the "toys.") Randy, feeling about two inches tall as the dad who just took his four young children to look at Playboy merchandise, said, "Kids, that store is really different than when I was a kid. Now, let's all pretend we never went in."
6 comments:
HA!I didn't realize it had turned into such a raunchy store. Thanks for the warning...and the great story!
There's nothing like a house full of kids to make life comical. I've enjoyed getting caught up with your family's latest trials and tribulations. It seems we are living parallel lives.
--Karin
Oh my... thanks for the belly laugh tonight! Randy- you may not get a dad of the year award for that little episode, but at least you will have a great story to tell them when they get older!
So funny. I started laughing as soon as I saw the store name. I know its been pretty raunchy since I worked in the mall (Kay Bee Toys lol) 16 years ago!!!! And I know its where you went and got your buddies those stupid greeting cards with naked hunks on them.
I have to chuckle at the kids wanting to go back for more!
Robbin
Your husband knows the kids are going to tell EVERYBODY about the store visit, right?!!
Ahhh, it's such a relief to move up to the revered position of world's SECOND worst parent!! ;)
You, my dear, are a gifted writer! That was hilarious! I haven't been in a Spenser's in forever. I guess now I know not to go!
I'm just impressed that Randy took all 4 kids to the mall . . . I don't even do crazy stuff like that!
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