Ruler of the School

My baby is five, and Kindergarten is just days around the corner.

I remember the first time Ethan stepped on to the school bus 12 years ago (my shoddy memory does still have a little bit of juice left). He seemed just like a little business man on his way to the office, and the idea that he was actually going somewhere on his own without me, seemed ludicrous. He was such a little "Leave it to Beaver" type; shirt buttoned up all the way to the top and oh so earnest. The world of elementary school was brand new to us, with intimidating unknowns like playground dynamics, bus cops, peer mediators, gym class... He may as well have been boarding the bus to Lord of the Flies. We were all so inexperienced.











I still smile at the memory of this exchange from Kindergarten:

Ethan, very solemnly: “I heard some kids saying a very bad thing on the bus.” Immediately our minds jump to bullying, racial slurs, sexual harassment…
Ethan: “I did NOT join in.”
We gently ask: “What was it the kids were saying?”
Ethan, reluctantly: “Well, they were saying, ‘Kids rule parents drool!’”

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Mira. Mira would find "Kids rule parents drool" hil-arious. Confident, belly-laughing Mira would eat a Kindergartner like Ethan for breakfast.

It's a little scary.

I think every parent worries the first time their child heads off to school. I know we fretted a bit over Ethan:

• Were there Mean Kids on the bus?
• Would he be able to find the bathroom? (Yes it was right outside the Kindergarten door, but still...)
• Would he manage to get lost in the (admittedly teeny-tiny) school?
• Would he get picked on by a gang of elementary school bullies at recess?

You still worry even when it's Number 4. Of course, our fears with Mira entering Kindergarten are a little different than when Ethan went. It's more like:

• When other Kindergartners go home and repeat some interesting-sounding phrase they learned at school that isn't exactly desirable for a five-year-old and their parents say who'd you hear that from, will the answer inevitably be "Mira"?

Yeah it's pretty much that one fear.

I should clarify: it's not swearing. It's teen language:
My bad
AWK-ward!
Photobomb
BUST-ed!

And there's the trash talking she does with Ethan: "Dude, you're going down!" "Don't you even DARE!"

You try to control your child's experiences and guide her language, but you can't make her unhear things when she's surrounded by a houseful of teens and their friends.

You know how there'e always that one kid in class who KNOWS MORE?

yep.

If I were smart, Mira's school wardrobe would probably consist of t-shirts in every color of the rainbow, all with the same message printed on them: "I have teenage siblings. Blame them, not my parents."