"Me Talk Pretty One Day"

It's official, Mira's speech is a bit delayed. She was tested by the school district for several hours last week, and the results confirmed what we suspected: she understands everything very well (receptive language), but struggles with articulation ("Mira, say water." "Taw-bah!")

Of course, I wish her language wasn't lagging, but I am relieved that her comprehension is good (not that we were surprised - the kid doesn't miss a beat. Especially in matters of What is my sibling doing and why don't I get to do it, too?) She qualifies for services, meaning that a speech person will come to our house and ...do whatever it is they do. (Obviously it involves some sort of magic spells if it results in a two-year-old complying).

Poor articulation and a limited vocabulary do not stop Madame Chatterbox from holding a running dialog, however. She likes to discuss topics such as Where's Daddy? and Who Just Called Your Cell Phone?, especially when I am trapped alone in a vehicle with her. A car ride with Mira generally includes an exchange like this:

"Mama, who dat?"

"I was talking to Aunt Melissa on the phone."

"Ohhh!"

"Mama?"

"Yes?"

"Who dat?"

"That was Aunt Melissa, sweetie."

"Ohhh..."

"Mama?"

"What?"

"Who dat?"

"That was Aunt Melissa. I think we just talked about this."

"Ohhh!"

And so on. Often we will recycle a conversation seven or eight times consecutively. The girl takes full advantage of the fact that she has a captive audience as long as I'm driving.

I am hoping that as Mira is able to say more words we will see a decrease in a certain unwanted behavior our family is not enjoying: SCREAMING. These days, Mira's reaction to anything she doesn't like is to scream. And there's a lot to dislike when you're two.

It's actually quite a parenting conundrum: I don't know how to STOP THE SCREAMING. (Admittedly, my secret urge to scream, "STOP SCREAMING!" when she screams does seem a little immature). She never gets what she wants by screaming, but I think she has picked up on the fact that behind my calm, cool exterior, the screaming drives me absolutely insane (maybe the steam coming out of my ears gives me away). My diminishing sanity is probably enough of an incentive for her to keep it up.

I can tell you what methods have NOT worked to stop the screaming:

• Ignoring it. She's cunning and can see right through my fake ignoring.
• Covering one's ears. Gracie made the mistake of plugging her ears and Mira thought it was terrific!
• Muffling her. Yes, I gently muffled. It just made her increase her volume (a feat I wouldn't have thought was possible. I'd mistakenly assumed she was already at 10).
• Screaming myself. It backfired because she quite liked that game. And it hurt my throat.

Down the road (a long time from now, when I will probably be stone deaf from my repeated exposure to the screaming), I know in my heart that her spunky personality will serve her well. She might be a petite, black woman in a paunchy, white guy's world, but I suspect Mira won't be taking guff from anyone.

Crazy-cat