[April] Fool's Day

My friend Lynn e-mailed me on April 1 and said, simply: "April Fool's Day. One of the days I am most disappointed (and just a wee bit glad at the same time) that I'm not a Jackson family member."

What a nice compliment. I do love (as Gracie called it when she was little) "Fool's Day." And the kids look forward to it each spring. We've had some fine pranks over the years, including:

• The Your wife is pregnant again, Mr. Jackson prank (this elaborately-planned prank involved non-family "cast members" posing as medical staff and may have shaved some years off Randy's life)
• The meticulously executed Ethan, the high school online gradebook shows that you've got three Ds this trimester. How do you explain this? prank (this involved my web development skills and was the most successful April Fool's joke I ever played on Ethan)
• The One of my teeth got knocked out! prank (an oldie-but-goodie involving black licorice, which none of the kids fell for, but Randy's mom did - hook, line and sinker)
• The You'll be in charge of running Princess Camp this summer prank, which took the form of an official-looking letter from Ethan's Parks and Rec employer last year
• Plus, a variety of Fred has a bunny in his mouth/Fred pooped on the floor/Fred just threw up a pile of feathers-type jokes that Randy consistently fell (falls) for.

I wanted this year to be memorable, since the child who most appreciates the Fool's Day tradition is Ethan, and he'll be in college next year. (NOT that he will necessarily be protected from my April Fool's Day pranks in another state... I'll have to start thinking about this soon.)

I didn't have a grand idea this year, so it was a day of mini-pranks, starting with:

A foil-covered pan of brownies... or actually, brown Es made of paper. All five of my family members fell for this one. Gracie arrived home first. After she excitedly lifted the foil off the pan to find the brown Es, a thought occurred to me: chattering teeth make everything more fun! It turned out that the foil covering the pan applied just enough pressure to the wound-up chattering teeth underneath that they sprung into action perfectly when the foil was lifted. Really, it worked like a charm. (OK, in the interest of full disclosure, Mira did jump out of her skin and start crying. But two minutes later she was begging me, "Do it again!")

Speaking of making Mira cry... Prank #2 was a helium balloon in the toilet (the lid was closed.) If you decide to do this one but your child has a bladder the size of a walnut and waits until the very last second to use the potty... Be prepared to mop up some pee. And you'll need to wash your hands after you throw the balloon away. And said-child might cry again. 'Nuff said.

April Fool's Prank #3 involved the computer. I took a screenshot of my browser, open to Yahoo, and set it as the desktop background. Everyone fell for this one, but Randy was the most frustrated of the victims and was in the process of angrily powering down the #$@&%! computer when I reminded him that it was April first. (His immediate disgust over the "frozen" screen might be related to the multiple computer fails we've had this year). Gracie also decided to tape the bottom of the mouse. Simple but effective.

Prank #4: I am not above making fake poop. Gracie and I learned that you can make extremely realistic poop out of toilet paper tubes and water. Randy and Mira both fell hard for this trick. One of them screamed like a frightened little girl. (You be the judge. I really can't cast any judgement regarding this joke, since the words, "I just made the best poop!" actually came out of my mouth.)

Pranks #5 and #6--for Abby's benefit--involved more helium balloons. Who wouldn't want to jump into the shower after track practice and find balloon friends like this? Or discover a (different) helium balloon under the toilet lid - one with an alarmed expression drawn on and a talk bubble that said "Noooooo!"? (Fortunately, Abby did not wait until her bladder was about to burst to use the bathroom and then end up peeing on the balloon.)

The final joke involved party-poppers, which are cylindrical toys that pop and shoot out confetti when you pull the string. We tied string to them and painstakingly booby-trapped Ethan's room while he was at jazz band so they would go off when he opened his door. It was actually a difficult and time-consuming endeavor that both Randy and I worked on. Randy had just completed the final step when my sister's loveable-but-doofus hound Frankie, who we were dog-sitting, pushed the door open and set off the whole trap. (If Frankie had been wearing pants, he would have peed in them.) Fortunately, we had time to re-rig the room before Ethan got home from band, and it was a successful end to the day. He gave his approval with an enthusiastic "Nicely done!" when the party poppers exploded. 

How do I measure the success of April Fool's Day, 2014? Apparently Abby tweeted that night, "I am 600% sure my mom considers April Fools Day the most important day of the year."

That's a good Fool's Day.