The Centipedal Incident

How can a centipede bring a grown woman to her knees?
Literally. Looking for it next to the baseboard. At 1 am.

Let me say first that I have HELD a giant African millipede, as well as a tarantula. (Yes, I'm shuddering looking at the images I am posting, but still. I did it). Granted, these events didn't exactly take place in the wild (the library had a bug exhibit) and I wasn't exactly in danger (Darren the Entomologist was keeping a watchful eye on the interaction - making sure I didn't harm the insects, actually, not vice-versa). But look how gross! See how brave I am!

The night of the centipedal incident, I went up to bed a few minutes ahead of Randy. I rounded the corner of the bed just in time to see a centipede scurry along the baseboard. I grabbed a book and lunged for him, but he was too quick (Naturally. A hundred legs to my two).

He wasn't the enormous, feathery-looking variety (commonly referred to as "the dust mop") sometimes spotted around these parts, but he was, nevertheless, an Enemy in my bedroom. I spent the next 15 minutes squatting eight inches from the scene of the crime, eyes trained on the baseboard, waiting for him to reappear. Then Randy came upstairs, investigated the baseboard with his pocket knife, and convinced me that the centipede had escaped.

Remember my post about my kids' fears and their resulting inability to sleep?

Forty-five minutes later I made Randy carry the pillows and blankets downstairs to the living room with me. I could not sleep knowing HE was nearby!

Time out for a reality check:

• Yes, I know I am 1069 times the centipede's size.
• Yes, I (grudgingly) admit that there are others hiding in the house.
• Yes, I know it actually can't hurt me.

The next day when I was telling my friend Maryanna about the three hours I spent vacuuming every inch of the bedroom and spraying "Home Defense Max" along the demarcation line, she laughingly asked if I'd been worried about the centipede crawling in my mouth or something while I slept. (Apparently she is comfortable snuggling up with the creepy-crawlies ala "Fear Factor"). No way! That jaw was clenched so tight I nearly had to pry it open the next day.

He's out there...